From Hair Scare to Hair Care

 I was never taught how to woman. 

But wait, I'm serious.

My mother, a single woman with no fashion sense, raised me. And when I mean no fashion sense, take a moment to picture this: 

• frizzy hair of an unkempt 70's style cut
• tight, knee-length shorts
• mom jeans (before they were cool)
• unflattering t-shirts
• fanny packs (again, before they made a comeback)
• and lastly, dirty 90's sneakers. 

The only make up she wore was a waterproof mascara that still, despite its claims, smudged her under-eye from a day's worth of sweat.

She bore no paint on her nails, she wore no heels, and I never saw her in a dress.

Which translates to me, now grown, doing exactly the same. I am very uncomfortable in dresses, I loathe the discomfort of standing a day in heels, I wear backpacks instead of purses, and I openly admit to being a tomboy.

Yet lately, I've been trying to become a *girly* tomboy.

Despite years of watching my mom break apart her tangles with aggressive strokes of bent-bristled hair brushes, and despite years of her doing the same to me (which often resulted in teary-eyes), I want good hair.

Let me repeat...I WANT GOOD HAIR.

I started dying my hair at age 12 - from dark brown, to purple, to blue, to platinum blonde, to firey red, and then finally committing long-term (as in 10 solid years) to jet black (as seen below) - and eventually I totally forgot what my natural hair color was!

Surprisingly, when I decided to go all natural and return to a dye-free state of being, hair care became waaaaay different. I found that shampoos and conditioners didn't work the same on my hair. Turns out, hair dye acts as a sealant on the strands. My dyed hair was able to endure harsher shampoos, and naturally led a shinier lifestyle.

So I was sad to discover that natural hair for me meant lifeless, dull, and dry locks.

I spent 10 years trying all the ways and brands. Pureology, Redkin, L'Oreal, Kerastase, the No 'Poo method, Apple Cider Vinegar rinses, dry shampoo...everything I tried yielded the same, sad result.

Until I discovered a YouTuber by the name of holistichabits. She has long, flow-y, and most importantly, HEALTHY LOOKING, NATURAL hair. I watched hours upon hours of her videos, and that's when I first realized, I was never taught how to woman.

I was never taught how to properly brush my hair.
I was never taught about split ends (and how bad they really are).
I was never taught about choosing the right hair bands for less breakage.
I was never taught about all the harsh chemicals in modern day shampoos and conditioners (which dry out the hair), or how the bristles of a brush and comb make a world of difference (and stop unwanted snags).

But holistichabits sure taught me! (Thanks, YouTube!)

The solution to my dull hair problem was mainly a shampoo and conditioner switch. Here was the unboxing of my first Calia Natural's order, a Canadian company that makes all natural hair care products.

Ever since making the switch, my hair was made a VAST improvement. Because I have naturally oily hair, I am unable to skip a day of hair washing. The shampoos made by Calia Natural are gentle enough for everyday use. They have brought body and shine back to my hair. My hair feels soft again to the touch. I will never go back to a store bought shampoo, as I immediately feel the harsh effects it has on my strands.

holistichabits also introduced me to Tek, an Italian company that specializes in making hand crafted hair brushes and combs from quality wood. I was skeptical about a $50 hair brush, but when I received mine in the mail, my mind was changed forever. Just like with shampoo, I will never buy another cheap hairbrush again. This is because Tek product quality is super detectable. The real wood bristles are lighter and flexible throughout my hair. The bristles bend, gently nudging tangles out, instead of aggressively tearing them out (like my mother used to do - ouch!). And I spend more time gently brushing my hair, because, well, this brush just sort of encourages me to do so. And that means less split ends for my tresses over time.

So I am finally learning how to woman. And I've started with my hair. My nails and skin care are coming along, but we'll save that for another post. Here's what I have learned about how to effectively care for my hair:

1. Use natural shampoos and conditioners (like products from Calia Natural)
2. Only use a dime-sized amount of shampoo, and only lather it in the scalp.
3. Conditioner is mainly for the ends.
4. Avoid silicone in hair products.
5. Stay away from heat styling products as much as possible.
6. Wash your hair less frequently, unless you have oily hair or sweat daily.
7. Use hair bands that don't tug on the hair, and let hair move somewhat while in styles. My favorites are classic scrunchies and spiral hair ties.
8. Use a wooden-bristled brush and comb.
9. Use natural oils and deep conditioning treatments weekly.

Just look at those silky tresses! I'd say these steps are definitely working.

If you have any further hair care tips, please comment below! And stay tuned for more updates on how I learn to become more of a *woman.*

ART IS REVOLUTION

What's happening today in the United States is the same as what we've seen everywhere else in the world. Yet somehow we are taught...and we believe...that the USA is immune to the social and political issues we have seen in other ("third world") countries.

I think Americans are learning that WE ARE THE SAME and WE ARE NOT BETTER and in many ways, we are, in fact, MUCH WORSE.

"Street stencils start to emerge during the 1970s as an portable way of reproducing images and text quickly. The ability to reproduce a stencil easily gave power to the art and revolution. In Nicaragua, Sandinista revolutionaries used stylized images of Augusto Sandino, an anti-colonial hero of the early 1900s, to fight against the Somoza dictatorship. Sandino’s hat became a symbol of resistance. By the time the Sandinistas overthrew the the Somozas, thousands of stencils of Sandiono’s iconic hat could be found throughout Nicaragua. The repetitive stenciling of ”martyrs” or “heroes” reminded communities of their struggles and also marked where the political organizations operated."

"Similarly, in South Africa, a growing resistance against apartheid, which was an institutionalized system of racial segregation and discrimination in South and South West Africa from 1948-1990s and the censorship of the press led to the rise of stencils to communicate news of the day on walls and show the collective unity of the anti-apartheid movement.

Nelson Mandela, co-founded and led the anti-apartheid resistance group, MK (“Spear of the Nation”) that used guerilla warfare tactics because their peaceful protests were met with force by the government. Mandela was arrested for leaving the country illegally, jailed for 18 out of 27 years, then finished the rest under house arrest. “Free Mandela” was one of the most common messages stenciled during this time."

"Grupo Suma was an artist collective in Mexico that began painting in the streets to reach a broader audience. Some of their life-size stencils were of anonymous bureaucrats and poor indigenous women to expose the disparity between the social classes. They also wanted to make art available for everyone and would often create murals in the street and have tools available for people who wanted to participate."

The powers of Masego.

Classes I want to take:

•photography

•film production

•massage

I'm back.

Since no one ever reads this thing, it is becoming my personal outlet, my online journal, a place to organize my thoughts and figure out my talents, and then hopefully put them to use.

I am a creative person.

I enjoy aesthetically pleasing things.

A dimly lit, rose-tinted room with incense burning, candles aflame, and music on a capable speaker.

A well-written, well-directed film.

I enjoy writing.

I want to write screenplays, I've discovered.

I still want to write my memoir.

I want to offer alternative therapies to traditional drug addiction recovery models. Like yoga, fitness, nutrition, and mental health.

I enjoy exercise.

I enjoy nature and the outdoors.

I want to live in a van so I don't have to pay rent.

With that time, I want to create music, write my memoir, spend a lot of time at the gym, and be outside.

The end.

The Vanishing - "Lovesick"

Soft Cell - Sex Dwarf (Live, 1982)