From Hair Scare to Hair Care

 I was never taught how to woman. 

But wait, I'm serious.

My mother, a single woman with no fashion sense, raised me. And when I mean no fashion sense, take a moment to picture this: 

• frizzy hair of an unkempt 70's style cut
• tight, knee-length shorts
• mom jeans (before they were cool)
• unflattering t-shirts
• fanny packs (again, before they made a comeback)
• and lastly, dirty 90's sneakers. 

The only make up she wore was a waterproof mascara that still, despite its claims, smudged her under-eye from a day's worth of sweat.

She bore no paint on her nails, she wore no heels, and I never saw her in a dress.

Which translates to me, now grown, doing exactly the same. I am very uncomfortable in dresses, I loathe the discomfort of standing a day in heels, I wear backpacks instead of purses, and I openly admit to being a tomboy.

Yet lately, I've been trying to become a *girly* tomboy.

Despite years of watching my mom break apart her tangles with aggressive strokes of bent-bristled hair brushes, and despite years of her doing the same to me (which often resulted in teary-eyes), I want good hair.

Let me repeat...I WANT GOOD HAIR.

I started dying my hair at age 12 - from dark brown, to purple, to blue, to platinum blonde, to firey red, and then finally committing long-term (as in 10 solid years) to jet black (as seen below) - and eventually I totally forgot what my natural hair color was!

Surprisingly, when I decided to go all natural and return to a dye-free state of being, hair care became waaaaay different. I found that shampoos and conditioners didn't work the same on my hair. Turns out, hair dye acts as a sealant on the strands. My dyed hair was able to endure harsher shampoos, and naturally led a shinier lifestyle.

So I was sad to discover that natural hair for me meant lifeless, dull, and dry locks.

I spent 10 years trying all the ways and brands. Pureology, Redkin, L'Oreal, Kerastase, the No 'Poo method, Apple Cider Vinegar rinses, dry shampoo...everything I tried yielded the same, sad result.

Until I discovered a YouTuber by the name of holistichabits. She has long, flow-y, and most importantly, HEALTHY LOOKING, NATURAL hair. I watched hours upon hours of her videos, and that's when I first realized, I was never taught how to woman.

I was never taught how to properly brush my hair.
I was never taught about split ends (and how bad they really are).
I was never taught about choosing the right hair bands for less breakage.
I was never taught about all the harsh chemicals in modern day shampoos and conditioners (which dry out the hair), or how the bristles of a brush and comb make a world of difference (and stop unwanted snags).

But holistichabits sure taught me! (Thanks, YouTube!)

The solution to my dull hair problem was mainly a shampoo and conditioner switch. Here was the unboxing of my first Calia Natural's order, a Canadian company that makes all natural hair care products.

Ever since making the switch, my hair was made a VAST improvement. Because I have naturally oily hair, I am unable to skip a day of hair washing. The shampoos made by Calia Natural are gentle enough for everyday use. They have brought body and shine back to my hair. My hair feels soft again to the touch. I will never go back to a store bought shampoo, as I immediately feel the harsh effects it has on my strands.

holistichabits also introduced me to Tek, an Italian company that specializes in making hand crafted hair brushes and combs from quality wood. I was skeptical about a $50 hair brush, but when I received mine in the mail, my mind was changed forever. Just like with shampoo, I will never buy another cheap hairbrush again. This is because Tek product quality is super detectable. The real wood bristles are lighter and flexible throughout my hair. The bristles bend, gently nudging tangles out, instead of aggressively tearing them out (like my mother used to do - ouch!). And I spend more time gently brushing my hair, because, well, this brush just sort of encourages me to do so. And that means less split ends for my tresses over time.

So I am finally learning how to woman. And I've started with my hair. My nails and skin care are coming along, but we'll save that for another post. Here's what I have learned about how to effectively care for my hair:

1. Use natural shampoos and conditioners (like products from Calia Natural)
2. Only use a dime-sized amount of shampoo, and only lather it in the scalp.
3. Conditioner is mainly for the ends.
4. Avoid silicone in hair products.
5. Stay away from heat styling products as much as possible.
6. Wash your hair less frequently, unless you have oily hair or sweat daily.
7. Use hair bands that don't tug on the hair, and let hair move somewhat while in styles. My favorites are classic scrunchies and spiral hair ties.
8. Use a wooden-bristled brush and comb.
9. Use natural oils and deep conditioning treatments weekly.

Just look at those silky tresses! I'd say these steps are definitely working.

If you have any further hair care tips, please comment below! And stay tuned for more updates on how I learn to become more of a *woman.*